I was at my Bible Study last night and my awesome leader gave me a new definition for wisdom.
Wisdom = a listening heart
Wow. I mean, I thought the guy with wisdom is the guy who aces every test. But, no. It's the guy who's smart enough to take good correction when given. And the fool, that's the guy who's thinks he doesn't need to change. And sometimes, I think I may be that fool.
I've stepped back from God. I thought God could easily just boom out in a loud voice to me on what I should do next in my life. I mean, He's got the power! He could easily be like Iron Man and shoot lazier beams out of his bare hands. Why wouldn't He want to do that!?
And so I sat back in my chair and my heart was no longer listening, but off somewhere else. I mean, like I said, God's got the power doesn't He? I decided, let Him take the first move.
And that's where I became a fool.
From there, I've kept falling. Deeper and deeper. God has seemed so far away. I've been walking through fire constantly. Hurt has just been cut deeper and deeper in me. More bad things were happening. And all I could think was, Why? Why does God just sit back in His big, classy chair up there and watch me burn up inside?
Then there was always this soft whisper in the back of my head saying,
I've realized that God wasn't sitting back in His chair watching me slowly close up inside, but that was ME doing that to Him. I've closed off every door, every opening, and locked up my heart. It was as if I had a big sign taped up saying, "NO TRESPASSING." And so God just stood outside of my heart - waiting for me to unlock the gate.
"The lamp of the Lord searches the spirit of man; it searches his inmost being." -Proverbs 20: 27
So God just stood there. Waiting for an opening. It's not like McDonald's where there is a 24 hour drive-thru so you can easily stop by any time. My heart was closed. And He was waiting to come inside and buy a burger. In this case, waiting for me to open up and let Him buy me back.
Slowly, I've been opening up my heart again. Slowly, I've been letting God take down my walls, my barriers. Even if He has to do it one brick at a time. Maybe I have to be a fool before I can have a true listening heart.
To wrap this up, I would like you to listen to the beginning of this song. You can listen to it, here. It's starts like this,
"Let the pain in my life, find it's healing in Your Eyes, every hurt, every loss, pull me closer to Your Heart. Let the wind and the waves bring a new courage and faith. I'm singing out, singing out..."
-The Lord is my Shepperd by Jeremy Riddle
I won't have many questions this week but I think this is something you need to ask yourself by yourself. Where do you stand with God?
Here's this week's schedule:
Saturday: October 22nd, Read Proverbs 22
Sunday: October 23rd, Read Proverbs 23
Monday: October 24th, Read Proverbs 24
Tuesday: October 25th, Read Proverbs 25
Wednesday: October 26th, Read Proverbs 26
Thursday: October 27th, Read Proverbs 27
Friday: October 28th, Read Proverbs 28
Missed the past God-Lover posts? Check them out here. See ya next Thursday!