the end.

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Well, this is a really hard post to write. I've been thinking about it all day and...ah, it's just really hard. I've decided I'm ending this blog. It's just time for me to wrap this place up.

I started this blog as a craft blog, and let me tell you, I was so excited posting pictures of all of my crochet animals, embroidery, and all those crazy projects. It still brings a smile to my face. :) haha Man, those animal things were so cool! haha I don't know, I was on a crafting "high" making stuff like crazy and then all of a sudden, all that awesome stuff stopped.

I don't really know why.

Some stuff started happening in my life and things started getting really, really hard. I never talked exactly what I was going through here but suddenly, writing on my blog became sort of challenging. I wanted to write happy. Just happy stuff. And it was really hard because that wasn't how I felt. And I think, as time went on, the sadness that I felt, in a way, started leaking its way into my blog.

Which made it even harder to write.

But I just went up to Redding, California to Bethel Church this past weekend and I had a crazy experience. And, ah...just thinking about it makes me so HAPPPPY!!! haha :) An awesome guy named Josh prayed over me and, to be completely honest, it felt like all that black stuff in my life got burned up and trashed. That all those chains I've had locked onto myself all of my life have been destroyed, really, and I feel free. I've been set free.

So, maybe I'm ending this blog but I'll still be around...just at a different blog. Piles of Pages. I've been given a fresh start, a new beginning. Through this one year of writing here, I've figured out who I am as a blogger. This experience has been amazing, and I'm so happy you've been stopping by. Every time I got a follower or a comment, it always made my day. Just to know someone out there was taking their time to read about the stuff I've written. You mean a lot to me.

Thank you so much and I'd love you stop by Piles of Pages. Comment and tell me you're from Mimicking God's Creation. I will LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU DO THAT. :) heh heh

Love you guys forever and ever.

Emma.

The End  

fresh

I haven't posted in a very looooong time. Sorry 'bout that. But, hey, here's a post. :) I honestly have no idea what I'm going to say, so bear with me. I'm thinking. Sorta just need to bluh all over this. haha :)

I feel like a fresh start is coming. I went outside earlier and that's what I felt. Freshness...crisp air. Love that. Though the sky is so gloomy and I'm just waiting for the rain. Just waiting for something to happen. Do you ever feel that way? Just waiting for something...just sometimes not sure what.

I see bright colors. I've seen brighter days. :) You know, one where I can ACTUALLY SEE THE SUN! (uh, please rain. though I love rain. but I just get depressed. but I still love it. don't judge) Though...sometimes it just feels like there is a brokeness in dark days like these. Where the sun wants to shine but the clouds don't let it. Light is held back. It's sad.

And sometimes I feel like that's what happens in our lives. We want to shine but we're held back. Restrained? Yeah. Sorta like we've got these invisible chains of past hurt and things people have said that refuse to let go. I just see chains gripping and cutting and hurting people, maybe even you. 

But the rain has gotta come. I know it does. And sometimes it has to rain before you can see the sun again. Cause after the rain falls, the clouds fade away, then blue sky appears, the sun comes out, and then there's the smell.

Yes, thee smell.

The one where you smell that clean air and you're like, "Oh yeah, I like this stuff." It's a fresh start. One where you don't have to wear those chains anymore during those dark days. Where that clean air can just wash over you and you know for sure that you got a fresh start.

Don't worry anymore...the rain is coming. But it will end. Bright days are coming. A fresh start is coming. (Summer is coming. YES!) And you know what, I think your chains are falling.

Emma

7 questions! (again)

Hello fellow! I'm doing seven questions again!! WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!! I love this sort of stuff. So F-U-N. Linking up with the lovely Gentri Lee, my friends. Meanwhile, still freaked out you might be a stalker so this week, my face is...

Kermit the Frog.

Anyway

1. What is your favorite App? (even if you don't have a smart phone I'm sure you've played around with someone else's)

Honestly, I'm not sure. There are so many...BUT WAIT! Aw, poop. I forgot the name. But it's this frog\dinosaur\I'm not sure what animal it is but it's really cute that you have to cut the string that swirls around everywhere just to get the food to the little guy's mouth. Anybody know the name? Probably not, because I'm really bad at describing things. But if you do understand me, please tell me.

Please.

2. You have to come up with a book title on the spot- what is it? (don't think- just say!)

Lick a Llama.

Aw, poop. Moving on...

3. You are given the choice between laughing at everything- always, or never being able to laugh again. Which would you choose?

I would laugh at everything. And maybe it would get annoying...but I can't imagine a world without laughter. It would be a sad place.

4. What natural disaster scares you the most? (tornado, hurricane, earthquake, flood, etc)

Probably earthquake. I dunno. Don't you think when everything starts shaking, it's sort of freaky? I'm just saying...I think it is.

5. What time do you wake up each day? What time do you go to sleep?

I set my alarm clock for 7:30, but me waking up at that time is pure failure. Though when I go to sleep varies a lot...it just depends. Either 9:40ish, 10, 11, or midnight. I know, I'm confusing.

6. (question courtesy of Katie) Who's your daddy, and what does he do?

My dad is Brad. *moment of silence as we remember my father.* BAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Seriousness. Seriousness. My dad is what I used to say when I was little, a "secret agent." But in reality, he's the boss of Mavrick Artists Agency and picks out people that would fit the role for commercials and TV shows...at least, that's what he tells me. :)

7. What's the craziest dream you've ever had? (like an actual dream- while you were sleeping)

Oh man, I've had so many crazy dreams...like the other night I had a dream of Mexican music. All night I just had Mexican music playing in my head. It was awesome.

Anyway, hope you're having an awesome Wednesday, friends! Whatcha doin today? Do tell, do tell. :)

Emma

it's a must.

Oh. My. Dear.

Check out this etsy shop! Isn't it so AMAZING!? I started working for my friend Jessica, who is the OWNER (yes, owner) of this shop. I started working this past Saturday, sewing tags and cutting out pieces of fabric for the pillows. Fun stuff, my friends. Fun stuff. I love it. :) Plus, I get to tell her some of my ideas for pillows and we could possibly make them. SO COOL, right!? :) Mwhhaha. Yes, it's so cool.

These are my favorites from her shop...

[The Instagram Pillow]

[The Hedgehog Pillow]

[The Whale Pillow]

So snazzy, I know. :) Check out her shop and comment which one's your favorite! Tell me!! Please, reader. I gotta know what you like. :) And you can like her stuff on facebook too, if you want. Go here for that cool stuff.

Hope you're having an awesome Monday! Cause mine is really boring. The end.

Emma

april showers bring may flowers

It's raining right now. More like, pouring. It's so awesome. I love it. I love rain. There's been thunder and lightning too. So cool, man! :) haha I wouldn't be surprised if we relive Noah's Ark or something because it's pretty intense. Anyway... I don't think this post has any point to it at all. Sorry. Just felt this urge within my soul! Bahhhahaha. I remember when I was younger and I was walking home after school after the rain, I'd jump in every puddle. It was so much fun - you have no idea!

But then I got in trouble because I jumped in a puddle that was in the street.

*sigh*

Plus, if it thundered while I was in class all the kids would scream. Thinking about it now, it's sort of hilarious because we all had high-pitched voices. So...you know. The screams still echo in my mind. Call me scarred.

Though I feel bad for my teachers. Seriously. What if they've become deaf?

But I still love rain. No matter the cost. :) Is it raining where you are right now? Do you even like rain? Or is it just me? Anything awesome happening in your life today? I'm going to go see Mirror Mirror with my friend in the afternoon today. Let's hope I don't drown on the way.

Emma

7 questions!

Hey peoples! I'm linking up with Gentri Lee today for 7 questions!! :) So cool. I'm supposed to post a funny photo of myself but I can't because you might be a stalker and plus...err, nevermind. So the photo below is not me...it's somebody else that I don't know. Just found it on tumblr. And I liked it. Uh, there you go. My life for today. Er...yeah, anyway...LET'S DO THIS THING!! :)

[source]

1. Would you rather have your life be a constant vacation or always stay home?

Constant vacation! I like to see things and travel places. :) Fun stuff, my friends.

2. What is your favorite book? (it can be any book! cook book, picture book, whatever!)

PSH. The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins! Best book I've ever read. And if you have read it, tell me you think it's the best book ever.

Seriously, tell me it's the best book ever.

3. You have to be on a reality tv show- which would you chose?

American Idol. But I can't sing. So...er...uh...nevermind. I don't think I want to be on TV. Actually, I think I would want to be in the crowd of Ellen. Or maybe not. But she's not even a reality show! I dunno. Can I be on Spongebob?

4. What is your favorite form of exercise? (running, zumba, step, etc)

I love riding around on my bike. Espechially on summer afternoons...man, the good days. Though I love rain. Okay, I'll be quiet now.

5. What is one thing that you've never tried but are CONVINCED you hate? (foods, activities, etc)

Sky diving. I hate it so much I don't even want to talk about it. Bye.

6. Do you have any hidden talents?

Lip-singing. Practice everyday, every night, all the time...in front of my mirror. It's the best.

7. What's the best prank you've ever pulled?

I don't think I've ever actually pulled a prank. But I've definetly dreamed about it. Though I did call McDonald's once, but that sorta failed.

Anyway, hope you're having an awesome day, person on the other side of the screen! Just ate 5 spring rolls...ah, soooo good. And in an hour heading over to my friend's house to watch Nacho Libre. Fun stuff, my friends. Fun stuff.

Emma

one question. sort of.

This one thought drives me crazy. I think about it from time to time. Like last night. I just stared at my ceiling till midnight trying to decide, YES or NO. My question is: Give or Keep?

The first kiss, my friend. Yes, yes. You heard me right. The first kiss.

I have no boyfriend and I don't think I want one until after high school...but I don't know what's going to happen between now and then. If for some reason some random guy is going to pop out and say, "I WANT TO KISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!" What do I do? Seriously, people. :) THIS IS SERIOUS!

I've got boundaries. Nothing past kissing until marriage, my friends. Just putting that out there in words. BOOM! I don't want to give myself away so easily to any guy, you know? Though back to the...uh...you know. Kissing part. I've heard many different preferences and they're all over the place. Like, "Go ahead and kiss a guy. It's just a stinking kiss." Or other people are like, "SAVE IT! SSSSAAAAVVVVEE IIIIITTTTT!!!!!"

And I just don't know what to do. If I should, save the first kiss for the engagement day or wedding day, or just kiss the guy. I dunno.

So, what do you think? Keep it or give it? And if you're married, did you save your first kiss or did you give it away?

Okay. You gotta tell me. It's killing me. And do you want me to die? I hope not. Because I don't feel like dying today. Or for a really, very, long, loooong time. Amen.

Emma

why, hello there...

You probably thought I died, right? Well, I did. No, no. I'm alive. And breathing. And still around today, walking, and stuffs. I've just been busy...with life. And everything that comes with it, my friend. Know what I'm saying?

Anyway, I'm basically writing this post just to let you know that I haven't forgotten. Though I'm sort of "burned-out" on what to write about on my blog... Ever get that way? Where you just don't know what to say sometimes? Most people write about their daily-life on their blogs, but I don't really want this blog to be that sort of place. I haven't exactly figured out what this place is, but don't worry. I'll keep on keeping on (posting). :)

So days have been filled with school, reading books, rereading the Hunger Games, going to the movies today for the Hunger Games, and JEEEESUS. Going through emotions (like any other girl my age. Geez, story of my life). Figuring stuff out. Experiencing craziness. And...finding God in the weirdest places. Finding the places that I love. Trying not to pee in my pants while hanging out with people that are HIL-LARRY-IOUS. Getting excited over nothing. Exhausted from everything.

But I like it.
I like it a lot.
And that's what keeps me from posting these days.
Time.

How've you been, my friend?

Emma

music lovers\\ B.Reith

I recently found out about this guy...AMAZING! He's been stuck on replay on my iPod for the past few days because I love him so much. haha :) Yup. His music is catchy and awesome to listen to for any occasion. It makes you want to bust a move or something. It rocks my socks. Seriously!Thought I should share...maybe you've heard of him?

HOLLA!

a mustache!? YES!

By the way, that's the guy. Not some random dude.

Thank you for you consideration, dear reader.

Here's some of his songs... listen to them! Make sure to turn off the music at the bottom also. Just have to remind you of that. Anyway, what's your favorite song on the B.Reith playlist? Mine would have to be the first one...Made for More. So good. So amazing. haha Love it. :)

Emma

thee movie. yes, THEE movie.

I saw it. I saw the movie. THEE MOVIE. Why yes, my dear friend, I saw the Hunger Games. The midnight premiere in fact. Yup. Last night, at 12:05, the movie rolled, and everyone in the theater eyes' were glued to the screen.

But I had to wait four hours+ in line to see it. It was fun cause I with some friends. :) Ahh...fun. A lot of people had copies of the first book in hand...so they read it while they waited. Man, I can't tell you how much I wished I had one of those. haha I don't own my own copy of the Hunger Games series! I know, it's INSANE! haha But one day, I will buy them and re-read them and...yeah. All that good stuff. haha

My face.

Hunger Games Emotional Rollercoaster (so stressful. haha)

First hour waiting in line - Emma, control yourself. CONTROL. CONTROL. Second hour in line - I got this. I got this. Third hour in line - I'm gonna die. Fourth hour WAITING - AHHHHH!!!!!!

Finally, sitting in the theater. Lights get dim. Okay, reader...the last few minutes of waiting for the movie to start I got so nervous. I don't know why. Don't ask! haha I thought I could pee in my pants or something...which happened to be my worst fear at the moment because I didn't want to have to go pee in the middle of THE HUNGER GAMES!! Geez. Who would want to do such a thing?

*moment of silence. Yes, yes. Stare at Peeta's face.*

I hope you wouldn't.

Then the movie starts... Maybe you've read the book, maybe you haven't, but it's so cool to see what you read in the book happen in the movie. I mean, when I read the books I had the whole thing set up in my head and then to see it ON THE SCREEN. Amazing.

You see the people. The different lives. The Capitol. District 12. Katniss. Gale. Peeta... And then...the Games.

Wow.

Seeing it. Man, it was intense. Or at least, I thought it was. :) Then while I see everything Katniss and Peeta go through I wonder,"Would I survive in the Hunger Games?"

HA! no.

That quote above is probably one of my favorite scenes in the movie, "I think you have a shadow." -Peeta. And then Rue in the background...I love her so much. Her scenes in the movie are the best.

The Hunger Games movie was pretty good. But after all of this, I'm telling you, the books are better. WAY better.

[hunger games flash back] I am so satisfied within my soul.

haha :)

Have you seen the movie yet? Favorite scenes? Characters? Quotes? Let's discuss! :)

Emma

HORRIFYING horror movies. True Story.

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Dude...you've probably seen a horror movie, right? If you have, I'm ranking you "Experienced Horror-Movie Watcher". If not, stay innocent. Trust me. I am scarred for life.

I can't get it off my mind. The horror movie I watched. It was called, "The Grudge." Maybe you've heard of it? I dunno...it was creepy. And jumpy. It was about this kid who ate people and lived in a person's attic. Terrifying, right? More like, HORRIFYING. I was with a bunch of people I didn't know and so once the first scene happend I was already screaming, "NO!! NOOOOOOO!!!!" and hugging this girl's knee that I didn't even know.

Yeah, I'm weird.

The people I was with were "Experienced Horror-Movie Watchers" so with me...all wimpy and dorky and such a middle-schooler...it was sort of hilarious. I was like, "Yo, dude. I am FREAKED out!"And...yeah. Every jumpy scene I screamed.

And that was the night my reputation was ruined.

I was known as the girl with the scream that was scarier than the horror movie itself.Yup. A guy actually said that. He was like, "Woah! That girl's scream is scarrier than the movie!"

And I am proud.

Then somebody died and I just ran out of the room...and didn't come back. For one thing...I was scared. Number two...I...don't...know.

I was sort of forced to watched this movie. I had the choice to leave...and save myself from being mentally scarred for the rest of my life (geez)! But I didn't do it. I fell into peer pressure, I guess.

Peer pressure is hard. Because for me...running out of watching a horror movie sort of ruined my reputation. I was known as the girl who was a wimp and couldn't survive watching the entire movie. I'm not saying horror movies are wrong, I'm just saying that I didn't feel like it was right. I felt like I should've left. And so I did. And even though I felt embarrased because maybe if I had survived through that movie I could've made some friends...maybe those people weren't right for me. I don't know.

God loves fighters, not quitters...a guy named Robby Dawkins would say. Even when times are tough and something doesn't feel right, God's looking down at you sayin', "Wow, that girl was fighting for something good. I'm so proud she's mine."

Besides...I just gotta say, The Hunger Games movie is going to be WAY better than this. Seriously...the world will be watching.

Emma

the wind and the waves

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I know, I lied. I said I was going to post something on Saturday, but I didn't. I just didn't know what to write. Or what to write about. I've been lost in thoughts lately...about stuff. Weird stuff.

Lately I've just been wondering, "Why?" Why the bad stuff continues to eat me (and people in general) alive. I think I get a break from it all, but I don't. It just keeps on coming. Like waves. Never ceases. Or so I think. I was rereading an entry in one of my journals I wrote a while ago and I read this (I know what you're about to read is sort of dramatic. But I don't know...I was just trying to describe how I felt):

"Silent waves. Silent drowning. Silent death. I feel so trapped. Honestly, it feels like there is no way out of this. That I will always, constantly die. Over and over again."

Everything I go through, I work through it silently. First, the waves come. Boom. Ouch. Man, that hurt. Then I realize that what happened is actually affecting me. Anybody got a band-aid? A deep, emotional band-aid? Anybody? Then I hide it.

And depression starts.

I close off. I "protect" myself. Which in the end I hurt myself more, because I block out almost everybody. Sometimes...even God.

"...he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave in the sea,

blown and tossed in the wind."

[James 1:6]

The bad stuff are the waves. The wind is the depression. The doubt are the thoughts that "you aren't going to make it". The tossing is the way you hurt yourself. Belief is faith.

Perseverance is hard. Really hard. Fighting against the tough stuff is one of the hardest things ever. And yeah, whatever struggle just popped into your head right now, that's your tough stuff.

Why, God? Why me? Why does all the bad stuff happen to me and no one else? Why do you let me go through this? Why do I feel so alone?

Jesus was thinking of you. When he was being beaten and dying on the cross, he was thinking of you. When people hated him for what he was teaching, he was thinking how it worth it was going to be for YOU. Yes, you. Whoever you are. Jesus IS thinking about you. About everything he loves about you.

And that he hates to watch you go through pain. He hates to watch people hurt you. And let me tell you this, somebody once told me that God tried to work it out with that person who hurt you. He's still working with them, but he tried to convince that person to turn around for good. But they didn't listen.

God is your shield. He's fighting for you.Hear all that bad stuff? See all that bad stuff? Remember God's with you. Always. Constantly. Remember that when you're walking through the lowest of the low times in your life, he's walking by your side. Even when you can't see or feel or hear him, he's there. He feels what you feel. He's crying with you. He's hearing the stuff people tell you. It hurts him too.

"Even now, (yeah, even when you feel like you could die)" declares the Lord,

"return to me with all your heart (even if it's broken. even if somebody has hurt it. God wants it),

with...weeping and mourning."

[Joel 2:12, with my inserts in (here)]

God wants you. Even if all you have left is broken. Even if you feel like you could honestly die. He wants that. He wants to pour healing into those places. Pour deeper than any person could. He's capable of reaching your darkest places. The ones nobody knows about. He wants to heal you and love you. Care for you and give you hope. And yes, he's still thinking about you even though you're pretty convinced that he's completely forgotten.

Yeah, there's still the waves. There's still the wind. The doubts. The tossing. But there is still hope. There is still peace. There is still love. Remember that in your darkest moments. It's not over yet.

*Make sure you turn off the music at the bottom!

Emma